Lost, a bit

Here and there.

Now and then.

It's been long since I posted the previous entry about my dog. Longer since I began turning into a hateful creature. Much longer since I experimented with love. Yet not that long since I moved on.

Walked my days alone - not lonely.

Still, I would like to claim that I got no friend. Not that I feel sad at all, but there is just no point in having any, at least for some years. Therefore I am never lonely.

Speaking about friendship, it has been like a roller coaster.

Made some.

Lost some.

Some went.

Some have gone.

Giving me the most invaluable lesson: most people are being fake.

I must admit that we all are weaking masks - or at least are thinking so. To be accepted, to fit in, to judge, to trap, to betray. Then, at some point in time, we will open our masks. But, are we really taking off our masks?

Or is it just our self-defense mechanism?

Does that mechanism reflect the real us?

Leaving those questions behind, I see life is pointless. But, sometimes I realize that it's just me having an aimless life. Honestly, I don't even have any specific dream. The funny thing being a dreamless person is that you became able to see that people with dream are trying to achieve their dream by crushing each others in any form.

「People are savages in nature」

Wait, it seems that I am not leaving those questions yet.

During my lifetime, which is still ongoing, I tried my best to not fully expressing myself. To be accepted? To fit in? To judge? To trap? To betray? I don't know. Haven't learned that yet. All possibilities can be possible and impossible.

By the way, the sad thing about falsity in humanity is that we could not judge them.

Have you in a moment of your life asked yourself this high-level question:

「why?」

If somebody finally make you hated them by unmasking themselves, why did they put that mask at the first place? Or can we just judge them, just because we haven't unmasked ourselves yet?

Have you considered that there is a high possibility that those masks had been carefully crafted, polished, and preserved for you to accept them?

Sometimes I overthink, and lost in my own unimportant mind.

That's all.