Learn to let go.
|credit : Mike Wilson | unsplash.com|
I had attended many funerals, yet most of the time I felt no sorrow. So far, there are only two funerals where I did grieve: my aunt's and my Kumo's. I really do not know how to grieve or show sympathy during funerals, unless it is important for me. However, I do grieve.
The day I wrote this was the day when I found that my favorite barbershop is closed for good. It was not relocating, not even renovating, but closed down. Forever. This is pretty unacceptable. Three weeks ago I still saw it open, with many customer.
F*ck you, it's still closed.
Today, I again was reminded how attachment hurts. Last week, WTF Cafe that I once visited in Bandung disappeared. Monday before that, our group's driver at the office was fired. Weeks ago I realized that particular Transjabodetabek passenger was not around anymore. Before that, an Indomaret clerk said her fellow clerk resigned. Some people I used to stalk announced that they are not online anymore.
I grieved during those moments, always.
A young belief of mine might say that everything can be permanent. To the contrary, my late lecturer quoted Heraclitus, "Everything changes, nothing stands still". I used to consider it a simple joke while standing still on the roadside, waiting for my bus, looking at the road where people are walking, vehicles are roaming, leaves are falling, and... my mind is changing. He was right.
The good part when everything changes is that you can get replacement.
The scary part when nothing stands still is that everything is replaceable.
As a coward, I see the scary part as terrifying. What you want to hold dear forever will be replaced by another. What you want to keep seeing will be gone. What you are looking for is moving. What you hold dear will find your replacement. Pain.