For a Friend

I do believe that there is right, (therefore) there is wrong.

Can't believe it's opposite version.

Truly, this gives many disadvantages. We're limited to certain extent of meaning. But, this happens because we value several things. I am not talking about norms and morals, not the right person. We embrace several rules - in which we limit ourselves - in order to keep several things. To hold one thing, we should let one thing go.

One might say: outdated.

I am not old enough. However, as long as I see, there're purposes behind things and beyond perception. Lived in the 'reality' where harmony and discord (co)exist, I cannot imagine a world without the existence of right and wrong. For I wouldn't be here, if I lived in that world.

I believe that there are right and wrong.

I just don't know which. All of us, don't we?

Disbelieving their existence, what is the true purpose? Because doing it is true? Or because we un/consciously admit that we are (probably) wrong? Are we proving a truth or defending ourselves? Not because the world refuse us, but because we know that we are not right? Are we just sad that the world doesn't work the way we want?

And, what is the main goal of life?

One might say: happiness (or personal satisfaction).

We know that others impose the definition of happiness, so that we might feel unable to achieve it. We must do certain effort in order to be happy, although we (might) have been happy all this time. Another cruelty of the world. People make us sad by telling what to do.

But, have anyone ever considered that others also impose the main goal of life? That the purpose of our life is the pursuit of personal satisfaction?

However.

Even if the main goal of life is happiness, my question is: whose?

Our? Or others?

Even if it is 'others', is it really 'others'?

Just, what is happiness with the ignorance towards consequences?

...

I don't know.

Confused.

Anyone, the one who has little probability of reading this, you know the purpose of this writing. But, I don't know which the actual purpose is.

We have our differences. We respect them. I respect yours. But, I - again and again - act as a prying individual. Prying into thy personal life where I shouldn't be. Trying to protect(?) what I value. A friend. The rarest thing that I have ever met.

But I am not certain, from who or what.

I've been in 'the similar world' where you are standing right now. Tried getting out to see my friends' faces under the day - things I missed the most. But, I don't see you out here. Perhaps you are really in another time or just in another part of the city where I can't see you.

I know the clauses that one should be happy for their friend; one should support their friend even when they are 'wrong'; one should accept their friends as they are. But that's not how I work anymore. That's how I get in 'there'.

I just, don't want to lose a friend anymore. I don't wanna lose you. Knowing your plans and sayings tells me that I'm losing another one. You might think about other agenda of mine, but believe me: I have nothing besides this.

Writing this feels like not respecting you. The one who keeps me on track. The one who teaches me many. The one I copy. Of course, the version of you is the one when we're together. Everybody certainly are a-changing.

I am writing this without proper knowledge.

I am angry and sad without the right of being so.

I am not that powerful or meaningful for you to listen.

I am darker than you, always worse than you. I know that you're not as perfect as people think. But you should always be better than me. That might be hard and tiring, but you know the people and what they achieve. Be better than me, be better than everybody else.

Be the best of you for yourself, God, and others.

That's all.